The Strength in Sensitivity: Finding Power in Feeling Deeply

Posting photos of myself always feels a little edgy, but I’m practicing what I preach: letting myself be seen.

I’ve always been a feeler.

Not in a metaphorical sense, literally.

I was born sensitive, empathic, intuitive. I felt energy before I understood it. I sensed truths no one spoke aloud. I cried easily. I loved deeply. I absorbed the world in full color and full volume.

When I was almost three, my mom had a stillborn baby. A daughter. None of us children were ever told about it at the time. Years later, she told me that she didn’t talk about it with anyone, not even my oldest brother, until he was almost 16.

But a few months after it happened, I was riding in the car with my mom, and three year old me looked at her and said:“I have a baby sister in heaven.”

I remember saying it. And my mom never forgot.

It was actually the last conversation I had with her before she died, how I always knew about my baby sister when only dad knew about her.

It was one of those moments that affirmed what I already knew deep down that I was born with an open channel, and I came here with access to my feelings, intuitions and knowings.

Growing Up in a World That Didn’t

I’ll be honest, growing up in a house with four brothers and a surgeon dad, there wasn’t a lot of room for that kind of tenderness nor gift. My mom was incredible, but she was holding so much. And I learned early on to manage myself.

There was love in my home, but also a lot of chaos.

Five kids at three different schools. Seven people's mouths to feed and clothes to wash, and not to forget, all the extracurricular things to manage.

So I traded softness for strength.

Sensitivity for self-reliance.

And feelings for functionality.

I stopped crying.

I stopped needing.

I stopped allowing myself to feel what I felt.

Even though I was still a feeler underneath it all, I buried it, and I tried to become like the boys.

Tough. Independent. Unshakable.

Because that felt safer than being misunderstood, overlooked or forgotten.

When the Pendulum Swings

As I got older (especially after my first heartbreaks), I doubled down on this strategy. I didn’t want to rely on anyone. I didn’t want to expect too much. I told myself that if I didn’t need anything, I couldn’t be letdown nor disappointed.

It worked for a while. But it came at a cost.

Because when you disconnect from your heart,

You disconnect from yourself.

There Is Strength in Sensitivity But It’s Not the Whole Story

I want to be clear about something. The part of me that learned to be strong? She mattered too.

When I turned away from my feelings, it wasn’t because I was weak, it because I needed something to hold me up. I needed my strength, decisiveness, resilience. And I built those muscles beautifully.

That version of me, hyper-capable, self-reliant, and poised under pressure, she’s not someone I resent. I admire her, and I love her. She carried me through a lot. And I believe, with my whole heart, that her development was part of my soul’s intention. I needed to become someone I could rely on, and  I needed to know I could do hard things.

But over time, my strength became something else.

It became a crutch.

A mask.

And a hiding place.

And while strength is valuable, what I had to learn was that there is also strength in sensitivity, and in living from a heart that’s both soft and resilient.

It takes a strong person to reveal their feelings, to expose their tenderness, and to stay open instead of shutting down, especially in a world (and in a family) where strength is defined by stoicism.

That was the version of strength I grew up around. And it served me, for a time.

But I’ve come to believe that true strength isn’t about suppressing emotion. It’s about having the courage to feel it, to speak it, and to stay open to the most honest, tender parts of who you are.

Because hiding behind strength cost me the vulnerability and connection I was craving most.

It let me survive, but not always feel.

It kept me safe, but not always open.

The truth is, it’s not either/or.

It never was.

I’m strong and I’m sensitive.

I can hold boundaries and hold tenderness.

And returning to my heart didn’t mean abandoning my strength.

It just meant I stopped using it to hide.

She Never Left Me

Here’s the thing about the truest parts of who you are. They don’t leave.

You might turn your back on them.

You might forget how to speak their language.

But they wait for you.

The little girl who talked to her stuffed animals because she could feel their feelings?

The one who noticed when she wasn’t picked up from school and understood—“I’ve simply been forgotten”?

The one who felt her sister’s presence without ever being told?

She never went anywhere.

She was just waiting.

For me to remember.

For me to return.

Coming Home

These days, I’m learning to live from my heart again.

Not in a way that erases my strength, but in a way that honors my softness. I now know how to hold boundaries and hold space. To be both intuitive and discerning. Tender and anchored.

And most of all, I’m learning to trust my feelings again. Not just as emotions to be acknowledged, but as guidance to be followed.

Because my feelings are my compass.

They tell me when to pause.

When to go.

Which direction to take.

They let me know when something is aligned, and when something is off.

When I listen, I move differently. I choose differently. I live differently.

And I realize now that for all those years I was ignoring my sensitivity, I wasn’t just silencing my emotions…I was silencing my own wisdom.

Sensitivity Is a Superpower

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much” or “too sensitive” or “too emotional,” let me offer this:

Sensitivity isn’t weakness.

It’s not a flaw. It’s not a liability. It’s not something to outgrow.

It’s a strength, a gift, a superpower.

And most likely, you're greatest guidance.

That part of you is still there.

Waiting. Ready.

Unchanged, and unashamed.

And when you return to it, It will welcome you with open arms.

Because it never stopped being yours.

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Hi, I’m Kate! Creator of Date Nite with Kevin & Kate and Portal to Self.

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